Scars can be external, like those after a mastectomy, or internal; but the truth is we all have them.
Tips for Dating With Breast Cancer | The Mighty
The beauty in dating is realizing this, and connecting to the stories behind those scars. Cancer survival teaches us not to be afraid and to walk forward with our heads held high.
- 6 Things I’ve Learned on Dating After Breast Cancer.
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Have faith in yourself, and your choices. I choose to stay positive about dating after breast cancer and I live in hope that I will find a man who will take on my journey for the exciting adventure it is.
You can watch Jane talk about her experiences about dating after breast cancer below. Member of the Month - January - News.
As a woman who has experienced these emotions, and dated various partners throughout her breast cancer journey, here are five things I learned about navigating the dating jungle after breast cancer: Member of the Month - January - News 10 Jul I wanted to be honest and very open with the guys I met.
I wanted them to know what I had went through and what my body looked like after and if they were scared or turned off, I wanted them to leave as soon as possible. I wasn't married and wasn't big into dating for a while after my breast cancer diagnosis and the surgery.
About a year after it happened, I met a guy through a friend of a friend and we really had a great time with each other. We took things pretty slowly, but when we finally decided to get intimate, I had a hard time accepting my body, and figuring out how to lose myself in the romance. I was very self conscious and wouldn't allow him to look or touch be from the waist up.
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I'm thankful for his patience and acceptance, but my personal adventure toward being comfortable having sex again took over two years. I was widowed for five years and had an active dating life before, but after, I had no desire. Both of my breasts had been removed. I lost my hair from chemo.
Lifestyle and Practical Matters
I felt so unlike myself. If it would help you feel more comfortable, wear clothing that feels right for you. If you feel self-conscious about scars or changes to your body while being intimate, experiment with wearing a t-shirt, find lingerie that makes you feel attractive or consider keeping the light off. The more comfortable you become with your partner, the easier this will become.
Having an open dialogue allows you to be vulnerable with someone both physically and emotionally — ideally they will respond with the same level of openness and honesty. Although breast cancer will most likely always be a part of you, it should not define you.
You are much more than a cancer patient and anyone who you choose to be intimate with should accept you, for you. The reality is scars, stretch marks, birthmarks and other unique features help define us and make each of us imperfectly perfect.
As the Project Manager of the Breast Cancer Survivorship Program and as the co-director for the Young Women with Breast Cancer Program at the Johns Hopkins Sidney Kimmel Comprehensive Cancer Center, Elissa is an outspoken advocate for women living with breast cancer and has first-hand experience with many of the concerns breast cancer can create including coping with long-term side effects, fertility, negotiating with employers while in treatment, survivorship care planning, navigating between medical professionals and obtaining insurance.
We want to hear your story.